How to wind down when you’re stressed
Key points
- Long, slow exhales calm your body fast. Five minutes a day can help boost your mood in a month.
- Create a designated “worry time” in the early evening so concerns don’t take over your entire day.
- Tense when you try to relax? It’s called stresslaxing. Start slow and be kind to yourself.
It’s bedtime. Your body is tired. But your mind is racing through emails, bills and tomorrow’s to-do list. Sound familiar?
When stress sticks around, your body doesn’t get a chance to settle back to normal. That’s why it feels so hard to switch off. The good news is that a few small habits can help.
Cyclic sighing: Start with a long, slow breath
One of the newest tools is also one of the simplest. It’s called cyclic sighing. In a Stanford Medicine study, five minutes of this breathing was linked to less anxiety, a better mood and slower breathing at rest. Over a month, cyclic sighing led to a positive mood more than mindfulness meditation did.
Here’s how to try it:
- Breathe in through your nose.
- Take a second, smaller breath in to fill your lungs all the way.
- Breathe out slowly through your mouth. Make this breath long.
Repeat for about five minutes. The study was small, so this isn’t a cure-all. But it’s free, and you can do it anywhere.
Give your worries a “worry window”
Pushing a worry away often makes it louder. Try giving it an appointment instead. Pick a short time in the early evening. When a worry pops up earlier in the day, tell yourself it can wait.
A recent study from the University of Leeds tested this idea. Adults who also made an “if-then” plan reported about 15 fewer minutes of worry than people who only delayed their worries. An if-then plan sounds like this: “If I start stressing about money at work, then I’ll jot it down and save it for 6 p.m.”
There’s one catch. The worry window did not improve sleep in this study. So keep your window well before bedtime and pair it with a calming habit at night.
Don’t force the calm
Ever try to relax and end up feeling more tense? There’s a name for it: stresslaxing. It happens when you try to rest but keep thinking about everything you should be doing instead. It isn’t an official diagnosis. Still, research has found that it shows up more often in people with generalized anxiety disorder.
The fix is to go slow. Start with just two minutes. Let a walk or a stretch count as rest too. And be gentle with yourself if it feels awkward at first.
Let your body lead
Sometimes your body can calm your mind. In bed, try muscle relaxation. Squeeze one part of your body as you breathe in. Let go as you breathe out. Work your way from your head down to your toes. Johns Hopkins sleep experts suggest practicing every day to build the skill.
Your daily habits matter too. The U.S. Centers for Disease Control (CDC) suggests going to bed and waking up at the same time each day. Adults need seven or more hours. The CDC also suggests taking breaks from news and social media.
FAQs
How do I stop racing thoughts?
Start with your body. Try the cyclic sighing described above. Then write your thoughts on paper so your brain doesn’t have to hold them. Save them for your worry window. The National Institute of Mental Health also suggests noticing unhelpful thoughts and challenging them. Ask yourself, “Is this a fact or a fear?”
How do I know when I should talk to someone about my stress levels?
The National Institute of Mental Health says it may be time to talk to a professional if you’re struggling to cope or your symptoms won’t go away. Other signs are stress that gets in the way of daily life, makes you avoid things or never seems to leave.
How do I stop from getting stressed in the first place?
You may not be able to eliminate every source of stress, but there are practical ways to reduce its impact. Building healthy habits and making intentional choices can help you manage stress more effectively. The CDC suggests regular sleep, movement, healthy food and time with people you trust. The National Institute of Mental Health adds deciding what must get done now and what can wait and learning to say no when you’re taking on too much.
Main takeaway
Stress can make your body stay on high alert, which can make it hard for your mind to slow down at bedtime. One breathing exercise called cyclic sighing may help lower stress and improve your mood. Setting aside a daily “worry window” can help keep worries from taking over your day, especially if you make a simple plan for how to handle them.
f relaxation exercises make you feel more stressed, start slowly and keep them short. Gentle movement, relaxing your muscles, keeping a regular sleep schedule, and taking breaks from the news can also help you feel calmer. If stress does not go away or starts affecting your daily life, it may be helpful to talk with a mental health professional.
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