Keeping the peace during election season
There’s a lot of uncertainty and discontent in the air during election season. According to a recent American Psychological Association survey, 68% of adults said that the future of our nation is a big source of stress in their lives.1 Discussing politics can often breed tension. And when you add family into the mix, those conversations can become even more stressful. This is especially true for those with family members who have opposing opinions.
Many people sidestep controversial topics with friends and family to avoid conflict and hurt feelings.2 But even though they can be stressful, having difficult conversations can be beneficial. They can help build authentic, honest relationships and give you a better understanding of where the other person is coming from. These conversations can also be an opportunity to stretch your perspective.
You may not be ready to have certain conversations with your family, and that’s OK.
But if you choose to discuss politics (or any difficult subject) with friends or family, there are ways to set boundaries and proceed with respect.
Think about your goal
Prepare ahead of time for difficult conversations.3 Why are you having this conversation? What do you hope to accomplish? Thinking about this can help you plan your approach and figure out if you even want to have the conversation in the first place. Go in with the goal of understanding the other person and their views—lecturing or arguing for a “win” are swift ways to shut down a conversation.
Be in the right headspace
Avoid political discussions with friends or family members if you’ve had a difficult day or you find yourself irritable, tired, hungry or sick.
“Fight” fairly4
- Focus on one issue at a time.
- Stick to the facts. Unfortunately, this is easier said than done with so much misinformation available online and on social media. Agree to get your information from unbiased, reputable news sources.
- Use “I” statements to express your feelings and opinions.
- Avoid “you” statements that may place blame.
- Listen and try not to interrupt.
- Try to see things from the other person’s perspective. Approach difficult conversations with an open mind and humility. A willingness to understand is a powerful way to deepen relationships.
- Avoid verbal attacks and judgments. You can disagree without disrespecting each other.
- If things get heated, take a break.
- Have a code word. Agreeing on a code word ahead of time can help de-escalate a tense situation, especially if you’re uncomfortable being direct with certain friends or family members. If the code word is funny or refers to an inside joke, it may even help lighten the mood.
A mental health professional can help you manage stress pre- or post-election and provide support for healthy conflict resolution.
Actively listen
Active listening is a technique that involves both verbal and nonverbal cues to help foster understanding and connection:2
- Pay attention. Nonverbal communication can “speak” loudly, so use your body language to convey your attention: nod occasionally, smile if appropriate and avoid crossing your arms or turning your body or face away from the person you’re speaking with.
- Give the other person space to talk.
- Ask relevant, open-ended questions. This encourages the other person to talk about their experiences, values and beliefs.5
- Restate what has been said. Acknowledge the views of the other person, even if you don’t completely understand them.
Protect your mental health
Remember that it’s always OK to end or leave a conversation. Here are some phrases to try:
“We see things differently, and that’s OK. We can agree to disagree on this.”
“I don’t feel comfortable talking about this right now. Let’s chat another time.”
“I would rather not discuss this anymore.”
“Can we save this for later? I’m exhausted for now.”
Take care
Having difficult conversations can be stressful, so practice self-care:
- Take a social media break and turn off the news.
- Spend time with a trusted friend.
- Go outside and get some fresh air and exercise.
- Get enough sleep.
- Do something creative to lift your spirits: cook a new dish, listen to music, write a letter or visit the craft store.
To take care of the whole you, connect with us through the Teladoc Health app, online or by phone. Not sure if you’re eligible for Teladoc Health?
We all experience difficult conversations from time to time—healthy conflict is a part of life. But if you’re experiencing abuse or harassment or feel stuck in a dangerous relationship or environment, seek help from appropriate mental health professionals or authorities. With boundaries, empathy and respect, productive conversations with friends and family members who don’t share your views can be possible.
Need to relax a bit? Try grounding for better health.
1https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/stress/2023/collective-trauma-recovery
2https://behavioralscientist.org/conversations-on-polarizing-topics-are-possible-if-youre-up-for-it-heres-how-to-start/
3https://dcf.wisconsin.gov/files/youngstar/pdf/eci/difficult-conversations.pdf
4https://www.apa.org/topics/stress/family-arguments-holidays
5https://www.apa.org/news/podcasts/speaking-of-psychology/conversation-chemistry
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