Support for the sandwich generation: Stuck in between two generations that need care

Caring for your kids and your parents can feel too much at times. You may be tired, stressed and short on time. Many people are in the same spot. Research from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention shows that caregivers often have more stress and sleep less than others. The good news is that the right support can lower stress and help you feel more in control. You don’t have to do it all by yourself. 

Here are some tips on how to get the support you need to help lower your stress and gain back some time. 

Build a support team

You don’t need to carry everything on your own. Ask family, friends or even neighbors to help. Studies show that sharing care tasks lowers stress and burnout. The help can buffer the negative effects of caregiver burden on your mental health and well-being. 

What to do:

• Make a list of tasks (rides, meals, check-ins) and ask each person to take one job 

• Create a shared calendar or group chat among your helper(s)

• Ask a neighbor to be a backup for school pickup or parent check-ins 

• Have a sibling manage bills or insurance calls

• Trade help with another parent 

Set simple routines

Having a plan can make busy days feel less chaotic. Routines can help reduce decision fatigue, which can lower stress and mental overload. 

What to do:

• Use a shared calendar 

• Plan meals and medications ahead of time

• Set auto-refills for medications 

• Batch errands into one trip

• Use phone reminders 

• Prep school items the night before

Use paid help when you can 

Even a few hours of help can make your week easier. Getting outside support can reduce stress and make caregiving more sustainable over time. 

What to do: 

• Look into part-time home aides

• Try after-school programs or babysitters 

• Hire a “mother’s helper” who helps around the house when you’re there

• Use grocery delivery or meal kits 

• Try drop-in adult day programs

Look for community or government help 

Many people miss out on support that is already available. Public programs can help reduce both cost and workload, which helps lower caregiver strain. 

What to do: 

• Check senior centers or community groups

• Ask your child’s school about support programs 

• Use a meal-delivery service for older adults (e.g., Meals on Wheels)

• Look into free or low-cost ride services 

• Find respite care programs (short-term breaks)

• Take advantage of library or community kids’ programs 

Talk to your employer about flexibility

Work can be hard to balance with caregiving, but you may have options. 

What to do:

• Ask about remote work or flexible hours 

• Look into caregiving leave policies

• Ask about an Employee Assistance Program 

• Plan your paid time off to help as needed

Set limits to protect your energy 

You can’t do everything—and that’s OK. Setting boundaries is linked to lower burnout and better mental health in caregivers.

• Say no to extra tasks when needed  

• Focus on what matters most 

• Limit how often you check messages  

• Rotate tasks instead of doing them daily 

• Let go of “perfect”  

Take care of yourself too

Your health matters just as much as your family’s. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention notes that caregivers are at higher risk for health problems, so self-care is key to staying well. 

What to do:

• Aim for sleep, balanced meals and movement  

• Take a short daily walk 

• Do quick at-home workouts  

• Keep your own doctor visits 

• Take short mental breaks  

Find someone to talk to

Caregiving can feel lonely, but you’re not alone. Emotional support—like talking to others or joining groups—can reduce stress and improve coping, according to research from the Family Caregiver Alliance. 

What to do:

• Talk to a friend, group or counselor  

• Join an online caregiver group 

• Look for local meetups  

• Try a mental health app 

• Connect with others in similar situations like a support group

Caring for kids and parents at the same time is hard, and it can wear you down. But support can make a real difference. Help from others, flexible work and simple routines can lower stress and make caregiving more manageable. Small steps—like asking for help or using local services—can give you the relief you need.